“They Call Me MISTER Fuji”
Torii at Ueno Park
These mark the entrance to Japanese shrines.As the popular Japanese saying goes: “The man who climbs Mt Fuji once is wise. The man who climbs Mt Fuji twice is a f**king psychopath”.
Ok, that isn’t quite how it goes. But sometimes such language is just plain necessary. Please understand me – I love hiking. I love trekking. It’s one of my favourite things to do. What I have discovered I do NOT like is walking 3000m up a volcano in the middle of the night at the same time as about 200,000 other people.
But I get ahead of myself…
I had planned to get the train to Nikko on Thursday, but I unfortunately woke up late, and by the time I had got my necessary chores done, checked out, and so on, it was just too late to go to make it worth the trip (about 3 hours), and the expense. Instead I decided to spend my final day in Tokyo wandering around Asakusa and visiting Ueno park – a very chilled out spot for people watching and shrine-viewing – and then ambling through the market nearby, which was once a black market centre, and still has an element of Camden about it. 
My capsule!
In fact, so much of Camden in it, that I found these awesome punk shoes on sale that I completely fell in love with… and couldn’t resist.
That night I checked into my first capsule hotel, intrigued as to how exactly the whole thing worked. I had visions of those pull-out slabs that they have in morgues on TV, but the capsules were actually huge – big enough to sit up in, and with their own alarm clocks and TVs and a few other fancy gadgets, so no claustrophobia after all. This hotel also had a communal bath on their top floor which was pretty much heaven. Baths (sento) are a big deal in Japan; the country is so volcanic that there are natural hot springs everywhere, and most towns have public baths for soaking. There is a whole etiquette involved – you put on your yukata (a cross between a kimono and pjs) to go down to the baths, and then you have to strip nekked and wash with the showers provided. Once you are clean you are allowed in the baths, which are hot and delicious. Even better, this one was on the top floor of the 
The pods at the capsule hotel
hotel with an amazing view over Tokyo at night, and I had it all to myself! A *nice* experience after 3 days treading the pavements in Tokyo, believe me. Spent the rest of the night shooting the breeze with some Canadians and two very funny Swedes on the 9th floor terrace, all hanging out in our yukatas. Even better, my luggage FINALLY arrived that evening, so I was able to put on clean clothes the following morning…. thank god. One more day and I think they would have been escorting me to the centre for disease control…
The following day (or rather 36 hours) was, well, what I try my hardest to think of as ‘character building’.
I had reserved a place on a coach heading to Fuji-go-ko, the region surrounding and encompassing Japan’s highest and most iconic mountain. I got up early, checked out with masses of time to spare, and went off to change a travellers cheque or so, in order to pay for the coach. It was then that I belatedly discovered that Japanese foreign exchange counters at banks do not open until 11am. 11AM! Seriously, that’s not just me, right? That’s ridiculously late. My 
Fuji-san from Kawaguchi-ko
Looking very large and intimidating.coach, needless to say, left at 9.30am. Given my lack of funds, it left without me.
Ended up getting a train to Fuji-go-ko, which got me there only about 4 hours later than I had planned… although I must admit it passed through some gorgeous scenery. Others before me have commented on the lack of foothills in Japan – it just goes from flat plain to these beautifully forested mountains with absolutely no in-between ground. Kawaguchi-ko, the little town on the lake of the same name, where I was staying, was lovely, and after I checked into my new hostel, I went off to explore, wandering around the lake and going up the cable car to check out the impressive views of Mt Fuji.
Now the first thing that hits you about this mountain is genuinely how huge it is. Massive. Monolithic. Although it’s surrounded by other mountains, they are tiny in comparison, and it rises in its perfect cone shape like Mt. Doom, continually drawing your eye wherever you are in the area. I couldn’t help but feel a little apprehensive about actually attempting to climb the thing that night.
Mt Fuji is iconic both in 
Fisherman at Kawaguchi-ko
Japan and out. The Japanese refer to it as ‘Fuji-san’ (namely ‘Mr Fuji’) as a mark of respect, and hundreds and hundreds of thousands climb it every year. Unfortuantely, it seems they’d all decided to do it on Friday night. Night time is indeed the traditional way to climb, reaching the summit in time for the sunrise. There are two main ways to attempt this. Firstly, you start at about 3pm, climb most of the way up, stay in a mountain hut (a cool 30 quid for a mat on the floor), and then set off a couple of hours before dawn to hit the top for sunrise. The other method is what the Canadians at the capsule hotel referred to as the ‘superman way’ – climbing the whole thing in one go during dark, which is meant to take between 5 and 7 hours.
Guess which one I was going to do? (Or perhaps more accurately, when would I ever pay that much money for a mountain hut…..!?)
Two English chaps – Alex and Sam – from my hostel were planning to do the same ascent that night, so we went out on a planning dinner, then 
View over Kawaguchi-ko from the cable car viewpoint
caught the last bus to the 5th station – the departure point – and set off, starting the trek about 10.30pm. We set off at a cracking pace to begin with, but discovered we had different walking styles (they walked at a stonking pace, then had big breaks, I walked at a slower pace, but didn’t have a break of more than 30 seconds until 2am) so we figured it was better to just catch each other up as and when we could. There were tons of other people doing the trek at the same time, and the path was all roped off, so there was absolutely no way you could get lost or fall into a crevasse or anthing like that.
The first couple of hours were tiring, but we made good progress as the crowds were thinner. However, after that it really slowed down. I’m talking about gridlock. Couple of steps, then stop, waiting for the people in front of you to move a foot or so, then the whole process again. For hours. And hours. After a while you didn’t even get tired or out of breath because you were moving so slowly, although the terrain 
Japan or Scotland?
was a bitch – loose scree and rocks, with one hour or so when you had to basically rock-climb with both hands and feet. I wish I had taken some pictures of the crowds for you, but I was so dispirited that even reaching in my bag for the camera was too much effort. Unfortunately, in addition, Mt Fuji is high enough to get altitude sickness, and both me and Sam got it bad. He got the pounding headaches, whilst my heart-rate sped up to seriously scary levels and would NOT slow down, and I became completely light-headed, so I was just walking like a zombie, completely unaware of my surroundings most of the time. This was probably an advantage in that it meant I didn’t completely lose my rag with the crowds, but I wasn’t exactly feeling great, either.
And that damn mountain! One of those awful ones where you think you’re approaching the final station and nearing the top, and then you get their and the slope appears in front of you, with the line of torches switchbacking forever upwards… depressing is not the word. By the time I reached the 8.5th station, the final one before 
That goddamn mountain….
The before-shotthe summit, it was about 2am, and I was feeling seriously unwell (I’d lost Sam and Alex in the crowds by then). Given that I had loads of time before sunrise at 5am, I (naughtily) had a quiet kip for an hour in a corner of the cafe, and woke up feeling better, probably having given myself a bit more time to acclimatise. Of course, with the recovery of self-awareness came the recovery of my personality, namely, impatience with crowds, and that last 90 minutes to the summit I spent most of my time restraining myself from screaming about what the hell the holdup was at the inevitable and inescapable tour guides, who were taking groups of about 60 people at a time up the mountain, and blocking everyone else from getting by as they desperately tried to organise them all.
I finally reached the summit at 4.30am, which admittedly, was perfect timing for sunrise at 5. Then the major problem with climbing Fuji presents itself, worse than the altitude sickness, worse than the crowds, worse than a 5 hour climb straight up. Normally, you do a hard climb, or a big trek, and you feel a sense of 
Clouds over Kawaguchi-ko
achievement at the end right? You sit on top of the mountain, you admire the views, you have lunch, you savour your own awesomeness… whatever.
The only thing I felt on top of Mt Fuji was fricking freezing. The cold up there is legendary, so I wore about 6 layers of warm clothing, gloves, hat, scarf, the works. And it was still unbearable. Plus, its a volcano, so it wasn’t like there was a nice springy bit of turf to kick back on. Nope, just more moonscape. After sunrise, which admittedly was spectacular, all anyone could think about was getting warm and getting some rest. But the only way to achieve that was to get all the way back down that goddamn mountain. Along with all those other people.
As it was, I just couldn’t face it, so I had another illegal nap in a makeshift cafe at the summit for an hour before I got kicked out, after which thankfully most of the crowds had disappeared. I was knackered, dehydrated and seriously grumpy, but knew it was only(!) three hours back down to the 5th station, so I made all the haste I could, driving myself on 
And again…
… but it was so pretty I couldn’t help it!without breaks remorselessly, longing for a cold drink and my bed with every fibre of my being.
Finally, covered in dust and exhausted, knees in absolute agony, I reach the bottom around 8.30am. But it doesn’t look like how I remember from last night, even if it was dark then. Where’s the cafe I’ve been looking forward to? I take a deep breath and approach the car park attendant, to discover that apparently, *hysterical chuckle*, I’ve come down the wrong route, and am absolutely nowhere near the Kawaguchi-ko 5th station, almost the other side of the mountain in fact. He also informs me that no, there aren’t any buses or trains I can get to Kawaguchi-ko from here, as we are in the middle of nowhere. I think I got about 20 ft away from him before I very obviously and embarassingly burst into tears. Not that he came after me or anything. Bastard.
About 15 mins later after I’d cried myself out, and had realised that there had to be some way out of here (said the joker to the thief?), I was studying a map of bus routes and found a (really quite attractive..) German bloke 
Sunrise from the summit of Mt Fuji
Nice, yes. Worth it?who’d just done exactly the same thing as me, and was equally stuck. After discussion, we gave in and paid 30 quid each for a taxi to take us back to Kawaguchi-ko, pretty much the ONLY option available to us. Rats. Of course after we’d been dropped back to the station, I got lost on the way back to the hostel (it is a great hostel, but I have not yet once successfully returned back there without losing my way), and I spent a further hour stumbling around in the sun, sweating in my thermals, covered in dust and dirt, and alternately weeping and muttering to myself like some deranged harpy, before I finally got back to the hostel at about 11am. As I said; ‘character building’.
I later found out that people do this all the time, as the two trails run together until about a third of the way down the mountain, where they split. Of course, the sign telling you that the trails are splitting and which one to take is in Japanese. OF COURSE. Indeed, when I finally got back to the hostel, I found Sam and Alex had only got back about 30 mins 
Sunrise from atop Mt Fuji
before me, having done the same, realised that they were on the wrong trail half-way down the mountain, then having turned around and climbed back UP again until they reached the split. Poor bastards. We all showered and then collapsed into bed, for whence we did not emerge until about 6pm. Both me and Sam were suffering from what we termed ‘altitude hangover’ – it felt like I’d downed an entire bottle of whisky and then decided to have a few rounds with a brick wall afterwards. About all we were fit for low-intelligence DVDs in the TV room: thank god for Mission Impossible II.
So… Fuji-san. Was it worth it for that sunrise and to say I’d done it? Well, I’m not gonna lie to you… nope. Still, I’ll grudgingly admit that I would have regretted it had I not done it. That’s about all I’m willing to admit. Maybe one might enjoy it more if they stay overnight and acclimatise. Or if they did it in daytime. Or if there were less people. All I can speak for is my experience. And I never want to see that mountain again as long as I live!
Thankfully, 
Dragged up a mountain backwards?
I’m only putting this up because I promised Victoria an OUWRFC jacket atop Mt Fuji. And that’s not a smile, its a grimace.today has a better ending. Still felt a bit crappy when I woke up, but decided to take the hop-on, hop-off bus around the lakes and visit some caves and a reconstructed traditional village that tries to keep tradtional arts like silk weaving, paper-making and doll-making alive. Very nice. And Fuji-go-ku is lovely. Best of all, the mountains were covered in this wonderful rain-cloud mist, so as it turns out I didn’t have to see that bloody mountain after all….
Stayed:
Tokyo – Capsule Hotel Riverside, Asakusa. Capsule 3000Y, includes free wi-fi and communal bath. 30 seconds walk from Asakusa station. Can be found through google, also in the LP.
Kawaguchi-ko – K’s House Mt Fuji. 2500Y for a bed in a 8 person mixed dorm. Huge, excellently stocked kitchen, plus communal area, laundry facilities and TV room, free pick-up and drop-off at Kawaguchi-ko station. Loads of information about the area. Difficult to find location! Can be found and booked online – just type into google.
Tomorrow: onto Kyoto for temples and geisha!
